Love/hate relationship

Once you get over the army bed, grey carpet and drab decor, your room will become your own little fortress.  You will use it to store a mountain of leaflets and random freebies from Freshers’ Week, and your hoard will acquire more obscure objects throughout the year.  You will also learn that your food is not safe in the kitchen and anything vaguely unhealthy (and therefore attractive) will migrate to your safe haven.

This all sounds very cosy, but it’s tough trying to establish a daily routine in a room where everything is falling apart.  The previous occupants will leave a piece of themselves behind – a knot of hair, which clogs up the shower and floods your room.  Also in my first week, the sink came away from the wall and the radiator broke.  There will be at least one day of impromptu team bonding at university, where your flatmates wash your hair in a sink because the hot water’s run out.   This is all in addition to the fire alarm, whose shrill tone of blame could wake the dead… and does, at 6.30am.

Next week, The Kitchen.