March 2011
5 posts
Your finals
This is my final post before you spread your wings and land on campus.
Occasionally, there will be some academia involved at university. It will take place in an enclosed arena which looks very grand before us students file in and ruin the ambience. The stairs are there to mock your sleep-deprived condition – don’t let them trip you up. It will be too cold in the winter and too hot in the...
Eat my shorts
The kitchens are student-proofed to a certain extent. The rest is up to you. Our appliances have a life of their own, so I have developed a sixth sense:
Microwave food is done when it starts exploding.
There is a 30-second window between undercooked and burnt.
The freezer needs defrosting. But we ignore that one.
In the first few weeks, I leaned far more about food products than I wanted...
Love/hate relationship
Once you get over the army bed, grey carpet and drab decor, your room will become your own little fortress. You will use it to store a mountain of leaflets and random freebies from Freshers’ Week, and your hoard will acquire more obscure objects throughout the year. You will also learn that your food is not safe in the kitchen and anything vaguely unhealthy (and therefore attractive) will...
Get shopped
Don’t take the easy option and set up a delivery account. A walk to the supermarket is a student’s main source of exercise.
Food shopping free from parental intervention is liberating, but there are a few tricks to remember. A supermarket is an environment where it’s every man for himself. A dodgy trolley wheel will hinder the flow of the stampede and your progress towards the bargains. ...
Hanging out with the washing
University washing machines are foreboding creatures. Gone is the gentle hum of domestic models, replaced with an industrial reject off the back of a lorry. Implementing the separation of white and black (and all the annoying shades in-between) is difficult enough for a novice student. There follows an agonising wait while your carefully-sorted delicates fight a losing battle with a furiously...
February 2011
1 post
Starting out
When you start university, you are pretty much left in charge of your own existence. This is challenging. During my first weeks as a fresher, I was in a permanent state of confusion and have compiled a list of “danger-zones” to help other flailing fledglings.
I will start with The Library. Any problems encountered here are exacerbated by the presence of books and the pressure of silence. I had...